I write a lot about how our food has changed with times. The additives, the hormones.....but our food isn't the only thing that has changed. How we interact with each other and the world in general has changed. When I was growing up I couldn't talk to someone on the other side of the world, face to face on a computer. At one point it was said that would exist but you think "how is that possible?" Well, today it is possible. Which brings me to my thought for the day: Growing up in 2013 is different than when I grew up in the 80's though some things remain the same......
Last week my husband and I watched a movie on Cyberbullying. It is something we've all heard a lot about on the news, especially lately as it seems to be getting worse or finally getting recognized. Cyberbullying didn't exist in the 80's but bullying did exist. I was picked on, as we called it then, these days I guess it would be called bullied. I was quiet and shy, I didn't wear designer clothes and didn't have much of an eye for fashion. I wasn't skinny, didn't have long flowing locks of hair........
My worst part of the day was the bus ride to and from school. For me the bus ride ended, I either arrived at school where I was picked at a bit but could usually avoid those who had nothing better to do, or I arrived home. Now, when the kids get home from school the bullies are still there. They can still attack them within the security of their own homes. Those 4 walls of a teenagers bedroom are usually their safe haven, where they can go to spend some time with their thoughts or not think at all, blast some music, play a video game, talk on the phone to a good friend and giggle about the days events. Now there's usually a computer within those 4 walls. And those who have nothing better to do can attack them using social media. And, as we know, the friends list is a chain. So, you may not be friends with the actual bully but you can see what they write on another friends wall. And, as the movie showed, it's addictive to see what people are writing about us.
I'm not sure what the answer is. Technology has become a part of our lives. I do believe as parents we have to use our better judgement and be very careful how much access we allow our children to have to social media. My Son is still very young, I have no idea what technology will be available to him as he grows and I have no idea how I will handle it all at this point. I do know that it will be my responsibility to monitor it, talk to him about what's going on/being said, make sure he understands a post made today can affect him years down the road - well beyond tomorrow. I am tempted to say I would not allow him access but we all know kids find a way and the last thing you want is to have them going to a friends house to access a Facebook account which you know nothing about and have no idea what's going on with it. I will cross the bridge when we come to it, for now I will pay attention to how others are handling it and stay informed.
As if parenting wasn't already the hardest job on the planet today we have to deal with protecting our kids in our own homes from bullies on their computers. And, not only bullies but also pedifiles and other sick deranged people who can gain access to our children through the world wide web.
A little story about me an one of my bullies.....
Several years ago I confronted one of my bullies. He actually became friends with my late husband and we all hung out together. It took me a long long time to tell him how miserable he made me in Jr. High. His response to me was "you have no idea what I was going through at the time, school was no fun for me either" So, that says it all, misery loves company. When someone is bullying you it's to take the focus off of something they don't like about themselves. He always picked at me about my weight, he was no skinny mini himself. I didn't bother to go into detail with him about what his problems were at the time, I didn't owe him a therapy session, I just wanted him to know that I did not forget how he treated me. He was someone I tolerated having around but did not become close friends with, the wall was always there. As I write this I realize I don't think I ever told my late husband this, I'm not sure he was in the room when I confronted my bully who was then a friend. If I did tell him, I don't remember. Since my late husband passed my contact with this person was minimal at first and in the past 5 years I may have said two words to him. Many friends offer a widow help when their spouse passes, this "friend" did not. I know he wasn't there to be friends with me, he was there to be friends with my late husband and that is why I tolerated him being in my life.
All the above is simply my thoughts and my humble opinion. It's what's on my mind a lot these days. Nobody wants their child to become a victim and the internet has made many of us, our children especially, easy targets. Be aware of what's going on, don't think it can't happen to you because as soon as you let your guard down, the predators move in..................I am hoping I can use what I have learned from my own experiences to protect my Son as much as I possibly can......
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