Not much has changed since my last post, or should I say my last venting....  Last month I focused on our meal plan for suppers.  We didn't eat as much take out but so far exercising has not been worked back into my lifestyle.  To be honest I feel down right LAZY.  I do know once I get back to exercising that laziness will go away and be replaced with wonderful energy.  I have reclaimed my work out area in the basement, I packed all my husbands fishing lures in bins and boxes and set them off to the side.  That's certainly a start.  I can now access my treadmill and my weight bench when I set my mind to it.  

At war with myself.....................

I asked a friend the other day "why is food so confusing?"  As I thought about that question I realized it's not the food that's confusing but we are confused.  Or at least I am confused.  Or in denial.....  I don't know how to fit healthy eating into a busy lifestyle.  I thought I had found a way.  I tried the Vegan protein shakes, not slim fast but still a meal replacement shake.  I was feeling good, was able to walk during my lunch break and was doing quite well with weight loss.  I did hit a plateau and was going to tackle dealing with it but then they changed the shake formula and it affected my system.  Not sure what they changed but I started to get the shakes myself, literally.  So, once I figured out it was the shake I stopped drinking them.  But then I fell into the fast food trap again at lunch time.  There's not much food wise that's easy to eat while you walk, or at least nothing I have thought of.  I only get 30 minutes for lunch and if I didn't eat something I would be ravenous by supper time.  But as I write this I realize I should probably look into it and see what I can find.  Going for a walk kept me out of the fast food joints and was obviously better for my health and bank account.  And with the fast food lunches draining me of my energy because I've put nothing but garbage in my body I'm exhausted when I get home from work so we then order take out for supper......  sigh......

I have been trying to figure out how to break this habit, realizing nothing but simple willpower is the answer.  Somehow I have to muster the determination to say "NO" to the junk food.  For instance today I had a salad and two hard boiled eggs with me for lunch, hubby dropped by and I jumped at the chance to go for a burger and fries.  

I'm not the person I want to be.  I'm not as healthy as I want to be and it's my own fault.  I am the only one that controls what I put in my body.  I am the only one who can take control of the cravings and say "NO".

I thought about joining Weight Watchers again.  It's been a long time since I've been this neglectful of what I'm eating.  But I'm not sure Weight Watchers is the answer, I'm not sure they can make me do what I obviously can't make myself do......  Just yesterday I started tracking my food intake again.  Wow, that was an eye opener.  And maybe that's the answer.  I need to see what the numbers are....I need to see the 3600mg of sodium I put in my body on the screen.  I don't know for sure if it's the answer but it's worth a try.

What I do know for sure is I'm tired, I'm unhappy with how I feel and I'm disappointed in myself.  I'm disappointed I didn't do the 5k I planned to do in June, I'm disappointed I'm eating my way back to the weight I was after all my hard work, I'm disappointed I can't get motivated to walk and exercise knowing that made me feel better before.  Maybe this is my breaking point, maybe I'm hitting my low and on the other side of all these feelings of disappointment will be my ah ha moment where I find another way to fit exercise into my busy life.  I realize as I write this I could have gone for a walk.....but I haven't written since Feb and felt the need to get this off my chest so it's not time wasted.

I have also made bad decisions in other ways, not only with food.  I gave my husband the TV I had in my work out room that I used to play my Yoga DVDs, he has taken over my work out area with his business merchandise so now I couldn't use my treadmill even if I wanted to.  Of course, I hadn't thought of it, it's all HIS fault!!!  ha ha, just joking.  But I did find yoga great to do on week nights after work as it calmed me and it was a nice work out for a later time so I wasn't so jazzed up before bed.

At this point, after writing all my thoughts, I still don't know what the answer is but I'm determined to figure it out.  Getting rid of all the junk food in the house would be a great way to start but I'm not the only one that lives here so there's great protest to that idea.

I'm off to check pinterest for healthy portable lunch ideas, other than shakes.  Here's hoping I get some inspiration!

'til next time......

What I've learned about stress and belly fat.....

I've been using my new Library card to do some research on the science of stress.  Here's a tidbit of information I would like to pass along.  I have learned why our bodies store belly fat when we're stressed.  It involves all kinds of technical jargon, scientific terms and many pages I had to read a few times to understand.  Here's my personal understanding.  The body stores fat in the belly area so it is close to our liver for quick access, so it can be turned into energy when needed for fight or flight.

I have also learned to burn that belly fat and fight the bodies urge to store it I need to do Yoga.  Last fall I started to do Yoga.  Then Santa brought me a complicated Yoga DVD and I got a bit discouraged.  As I've mentioned before I have also lost interest in exercising and I've gotten lazy during the cold winter months.  Not getting out for my lunch time walks has put a wrench in my routine.  But, after reading the benefits of Yoga, I am determined to start a new routine.  Starting this week and moving forward, I am going to do my Yoga every evening before bed.  I have no excuse not to.  It will relax me for sleep, ease my stress level and make my body feel better.  Last fall I noticed my belly getting smaller and actually had compliments on it, I had no idea it was due to Yoga!  And when my belly started getting bigger I blamed it on the Christmas treats - I had no idea it was because I had stopped doing Yoga.  Of course the Christmas treats didn't help.

I am a very slow reader, it is taking me a long time to get through the book about stress but I'm learning something and that's what counts.  :)